


The One With the Close Encounter

by TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone, ZanderFrae



Series: F. A. N. T. A. S. I. E. S. [6]
Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Aliens, Blindfolds, Dildos, Dubious Consent, Gags, Handcuffs, Multi, Oviposition, Roleplay, Sounding, Zombie!Joey, vampire!Monica
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-28 07:13:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20962574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone/pseuds/TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZanderFrae/pseuds/ZanderFrae
Summary: Chandler gets a bright idea and ropes Monica into a fun little roleplay prank.





	The One With the Close Encounter

Two aliens stood outside the crew entrance of a small theatre. Barely anyone paid them attention. “You know, you’d think we’d draw more notice dressed like this and lurking around after dark,” Chandler mused.

Monica nudged him but had to fight down her own giggles, "quiet, you, they're starting to file out. You're sure Joey will be the last one out, right?"

Before Chandler could answer, a flood of actors and workers started to walk out chattering excitedly and looking exhausted. A centaur trotted over and waved, "Oh hey, Chandler, if you're looking for Joey, he should be out shortly. Never likes to leave the caterers with leftovers."

Chandler waved back and whispered, “He doesn’t know we’re here. Paid off the stage manager to keep him back even if the food didn’t.”

Monica smiled. "He's going to either really like this or were gonna be responsible for nightmares. My money is on Joey acting like a kid at Disney world. Think he’ll pee himself?"

“He’s not an excitable puppy, Monica. Er… except for when we put the muzzle on him.” Chandler got a far off look for a moment before seeming to snap back and asking, “Unless peeing is supposed to be the bad outcome.”

"...how is that ever a  _ good  _ outcome?" Momica asked incredulously.

The door to the studio opened for the last time and out came Joey, a sandwich in his mouth and several more food items bundled in his arms including half a pizza he had balanced on top of the precarious pile. He was humming and looking far more chipper than the other actors that had left prior. The light just above the door shut off as soon as the door closed, leaving Joey with only the light from the street--on the other side of the building. He stopped and blinked a few times, his eyes glowing ever so slightly then he smiled and chomped down the last of the sandwich, selected a brownie from his pile and continued toward the parking lot.

Monica nudged Chandler and started to follow Joey, "Remember your lines? Sorta following your lead on this one."

Chandler pulled out a multi-coloured laser pen and flashed it at multiple things around Joey, changing colours with each new flash before turning on his headlamp. “ ** _EARTHLING_ ** ,” he called, affecting his voice as much as possible, “ ** _CEASE YOUR AMBULATION_ ** .”

Joey yelped, throwing his hands in the air, dropping the food. He made a disappointed noise around the brownie wedged in his mouth at the sight of snacks rolling about in different directions. He looked around in confusion, swallowing what he could of the brownie, "Cease my … I'm not a paramedic, dude! Don't shoot!"

Monica cleared her throat, " ** _WE HAVE SELECTED YOU FOR OUR … _ ** er," she glanced at Chandler, hissing softly, "Wait, why would we want a  _ zombie  _ for a breeding program?"

“ ** _INCUBATION AND HIBERNATION PROGRAM_ ** ,” Chandler finished with a pleading shrug. Okay, so maybe they hadn’t thought this all the way through. Just maybe. “ ** _THE PROGRAM IS NOT OPTIONAL. COME WITH US WILLINGLY… OR COME ANYWAY_ ** !” he nearly broke character with the sniggers that threatened in the back of his throat.

Joey's eyes widened further then he smirked and swaggered toward them, "Of course I was picked, I'm awesome. Bet you saw me earlier tearing it up for the camera." 

Monica blinked, " ** _YOU HAD LIKE TWO LINES TO READ TODAY._ ** "

Joey worked his jaw then shrugged, "But I was awesome at it."

“ ** _PROWESS IN SUSPENDING OTHERS’ DISBELIEF DOES NOTHING FOR OUR PROGRAM. YOU WERE CHOSEN FOR YOUR FORM_ ** ,” Chandler tried to steer the kidnapping back to its rightful programming.

" ** _YES, COME WITH US HUMAN!_ ** " Monica said, producing a blindfold and special handcuffs they'd picked up that looked scifi-ish.

Joey sighed, "Well, if I must be the specimen for my species then I must. Take me to your leader or whatever the thing is."

Chandler held out a hand to Monica in silent request for whichever item she trusted him with most. Momica passed him the cuffs as she reached up to tie the blindfold in place, once she was sure Joey couldn't see her she did a little victory dance and pressed a hand to her mouth, mouthing ' _ oh my god! _ '.

Joey smiled, "So do all aliens use blindfolds? Oh are we gonna beam up? Cuz thatd be cool but I won't be able to see it like this! Hey, if we beam up can you let me know and take the thing off so I can see? Oh man this is so cool!"

Chandler got to work securing Joey’s hands behind his back. He was grinning as he answered, “ ** _YOU THINK WE CAN BEAM YOU UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY WITHOUT RISKING GOVERNMENT INVOLVEMENT? PERHAPS THIS IS NOT THE PRIME SPECIMEN._ ** ”

Joey squirmed and shook his head, "uh uh no! I just meant it  _ would _ be cool but you know, government and stuff so uh the regular way is fine." He paused, "whatever that way is."

Monica gave Chandler a look, whispering, "Cmon, don't make the little guy upset. You'll kill the semi he's sporting."

“ ** _VERY WELL. TO THE UNIDENTIFIED DRIVING OBJECT!_ ** ” Chandler declared, steering Joey in the direction of a cargo van he’d bribed off one of the crew.

Joey hurried to keep up, trying excitedly to see around the blindfold, he was burning with curiosity but at the thought that this encounter would end prematurely, he kept his mouth shut. He could not, however, keep the huge smile off his face.

Chandler palmed the keys to Monica so she could open the back doors and get it turned on. Inside were a plethora of sex toys, noise makers, and battery powered lights along a couple camping mattresses for comfort. Once Joey was settled inside and the door closed, Chandler turned on a couple of the noisemakers and motioned for Monica to join them. “ ** _TELL ME, EARTHLING, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN PROBED_ ** ?”

Joey snorted, "You want me to list the times chronologically or alphabetically?" He chuckled and then frowned. "Wait, hang on, I thought that was just a joke! Aliens don't really …  _ do that _ do they?"

Monica slid the door closed carefully and positioned joey on his back on the mattresses, " ** _INDEED WE DO, PREPARE THE PROBE!_ ** " She turned on a machine that made a soft humming sound.

Chandler had to practically hold his breath to avoid cackling out loud. He held up an incredibly thin, silicone, beaded rod and reached for the lube. “ ** _PREPARE THE SPECIMEN_ ** .”

" ** _PREPARING SPECIMEN!_ ** " Monica undid Joey’s pants and reached inside.

Joey squeaked and wiggled away a bit, "H-Hey now, what're you doing?" He felt cool fingers wrap around his cock and he shivered, "ohhh…" he relaxed a bit with a lopsided smile on his face 

Once Joey was fully erect, Chandler placed the end of the lubed up rod at Joey’s slit and began to very gently press it in.

Joey bit his lip and shivered, swallowing thickly, "wha-"

" ** _I THINK THIS ONE TALKS TOO MUCH, PERMISSION TO ENGAGE SILENCER?_ ** " Momica said quickly, giving chandler a pointed look then nodding to the line up of gags they brought.

“ ** _PERMISSION ENTHUSIASTICALLY GRANTED_ ** .” Chander grabbed one that had weird edges and corners, like it belonged more in a geometry classroom than a sex scene and handed it over to her. It was the one least likely to draw Joey out of the scene too early. When he determined Joey’s slit had likely gotten used to the sound, he began to thrust it in and out. “ ** _PROBING STAGE ONE ENGAGED_ ** .”

Joey opened his mouth to moan then sputtered as something interesting was shoved into it and a strap buckled behind his head. He grumbled but then whined as his focus shot back to the probe shoving into his dick. He whined and twitched, it felt … really good actually.

" ** _GAG ENGAGED!_ ** " Monica gave a kind of salute and stifled more giggles.

Chandler motioned for Monica to take over the textured sound before unbuttoning his pants and palming his own half-hard erection. “ ** _PHASE TWO, PRIMING_ ** .”

Monica enthusiastically used the sound, lightly circling the head of Joey's cock with a finger tip as she went. She winked at Chandler as she withdrew the sound almost all the way before easing it back in.

Stroking himself with one hand, Chandler lubed a thin dildo and gently breached Joey’s asshole with it, hoping it would feel like an alien finger to the zombie.

Joey twitched and went completely still as he tried to puzzle out what the intrusion was. He wiggled a bit as it eased in deeper and he breathed in then out shakily. He chewed thoughtfully on the gag and made a soft, curious sound. He pulled his legs up invitingly, sluggish heartbeat speeding up minusculy. He was so  _ ready  _ for this encounter with the third kind.

Chandler grinned as he twisted a knob at the bottom of the dildo, causing it to widen inside Joey’s channel. Just when it was nearly too much, he twisted it smaller again before repeating.

"Mph!" Joey whined and bit into the gag, oh shit! Was this alien sex? Was he having alien sex with an alien? Oh god what if he got pregnant??

Monica leaned over and stroked Chandlers cock, she couldn't resist when she could smell the humans arousal and she knew soon Joey would recognize their scents and the gig would be up but until then… she gave the humans balls a firm squeeze.

Chandler removed the expandable dildo, swapping it for a firm but stretchable tube. He hadn’t really been sure about this part of the plan, but Joey really didn’t seem to have figured out it was them just yet… and he wasn’t going to waste such a good opportunity with a willing if mildly mislead participant. “ ** _EGGS AT THE READY_ ** ?”

Joey made a question-noise then squealed, he felt his legs being cuffed and spread and the back of his Jean's being hiked up or was it down? To his knees.

" ** _BEGIN!_ ** " Monica said excitedly.

Chandler dropped a few ‘eggs’ they’d made with Easter molds and unflavoured gelatin into the tubing at a time as Monica worked them past Joey’s sphincter. There were 12 in total.

Joey trembled and gasped around the gag, he shook his head and was about to start freaking out when he smelled something that made him go completely still. "OO UNGAF A BIGH!!"

Monica sighed, "Welp, it was a pleasure serving with you, Bing."

Red in the face from laughter, Chandler held up a hand for a high five. “As always, Geller.”

"OO GOOOOOUYS!!" Joey wriggled then started laughing when Monica took the gag out after high-fiving Chandler, "What is in my but??"

“Gelatin eggs. Safe to keep in or squeeze out. It’s just gone in the opposite way you’re used to,” the human sounded smug.

Monica took Joey's blindfold off and he wiggled a bit, "Ooh that's a  _ we _ ird feeling, Chan! Ooh Joey doesn’t like that! It's all slushy and cold and why, Bing, why eggs??"

“I dunno. I read about it once. Thought it sounded interesting. And… I mean… aliens?”

Joey grinned widely, looking around at all the lights and their costumes, "Shit, you did all this just to put jelly eggs in my butt? Wow, I'm impressed, really! This is so cool! Oh and can you take that thing out of my dick now please?"

Monica turned to Chandler, " ** _CARE TO DO THE HONORS CAPTAIN?_ ** "

Chandler offered a strange salute before pulling out the sound. “ ** _THE HONORS ARE ALWAYS MINE, LIEUTENANT_ ** ! And not  _ just _ to put jelly eggs in your butt. You were talking in your sleep the other night about how proud you were that the aliens had chosen  _ you _ above all other men for their study and friendship.”

Joey's toes spread then curled at the sound being removed and he sighed. "That's cuz I'm a national treasure. Lookit this face!"

“Well, you’re certainly  _ my _ treasure, Joey Tribbiani.”

Joey blushed, and Monica clapped her hands, "Oh go on and kiss then we can fuck!"


End file.
